PCOS - heb ik weer!

PCOS:

For those who don't know what it is: (logical because no one knows this until it happens to you) I just copied it from the internet.

In women who have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (short: PCOS), cysts grow on the ovaries. This can have consequences for fertility. In addition to the cysts on the ovaries, there are more symptoms that occur with this syndrome.

I have again!

There are plenty of people who don't get pregnant right away. With or without reason! But you don't immediately think about the fact that it could happen to you. At least I don't. Max and I stopped taking the pill almost immediately. I start June 2016 and she after her wedding in July. We had of course hoped to become pregnant together. We could already see it all in front of us. But when she was already pregnant and I hadn't even had my period yet, I already knew. There was something wrong with me...

I felt it right away! I certainly didn't think that I would immediately be pregnant after a good sex session, but that everything would go somewhat normally wasn't too much to ask, was it? Impatient as I am, I called the doctor. Who I think still thinks that I had already been busy for a year then, a white lie should be allowed every now and then, right? I didn't feel like waiting months for my period. I wanted clarity and rather today than tomorrow. After some pushing and shoving, which I am very good at, I was able to call for an ultrasound at the hospital. (By now I had already Googled everything 100 times and had already declared myself infertile). But it turned out not to be that bad. Final score: PCOS!

Of course I had prepared myself for all scenarios, so this did not come as a surprise. Thank goodness because I hate surprises. Unless it's a big gift, of course. But believe me, this was anything but a gift. The doctor was quite light-hearted about it. I was given some treatments of Primolut to help me get my period and then I would start with Clomid. For those who don't know this, you use this to improve your cycle so that you ovulate around the 14th of your cycle. Just like women who don't suffer from this. That's how I was told, the doctor said I didn't have to worry about anything and everything was going to be fine!

The side effects were mild, the doctor said. Well, call it mild, I still find it a miracle that my boyfriend still wanted children with me after taking clomid. I'm normally not averse to a good discussion and I think I'm right in 99% of the cases, but this was really next level. My friend couldn't do anything right, his sperm had now been tested and was completely fine. I was angry about that again because then everything was on me.
Very unreasonable of course because how shitty would it have been if there was something 'wrong' with him too? But at that moment everything was shit in my eyes.

Perhaps girls who have also been through this process recognize this. That people keep telling you to just let it go and it will happen naturally? Sure, and when exactly should I let it go? You go from having your period to taking clomid to having check-ups. Where 9 out of 10 times after the ultrasound I found myself crying in the car on the way home because what needed to be done did not happen again. And if this did happen, I could take a blood test a few days later and wait until I could test afterwards. So when exactly was the time I had to let it go?

After a few months of clomid, ovulation, no pregnancy and 1700 crying fits, it was time to move on to the next step.

What now? You can read this in my next blog.

Love Michelle

(by the way, this photo is from when we were not pregnant and were full of wine and ranting and gagging during Jantje's Birthday, exactly 2016, 6 years ago and at least 6 kilos lighter)

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