Blog 2: The beginning of a long journey

Blog 2: The beginning of a long journey

In my previous blog I already told you that I recently became a mother of a beautiful miracle girl. This girl didn't come without a fight. You hear a lot about getting pregnant, but not getting pregnant or not being able to get pregnant is something you don't hear about or is a taboo. That's why I'm taking you along on our journey!

This long and exciting journey started at the beginning of 2016. When you decide to have a child, you do not assume that you will end up in a process. After six months of stopping the pill, I got the feeling that things were not right.

I have no idea where this feeling came from, but everything inside me said this doesn't happen automatically. I decided to make an appointment with the doctor. I had a history of problems with my pill so the doctor wanted to see us. Normally they want you to try for a year first, but I was an exception to this.
The appointment with the GP came quickly and he referred us to a fertility doctor at the Bronovo hospital in The Hague.

What is a Fertility Doctor?

'Fertility' means fertility. A fertility doctor or reproductive medicine doctor is therefore a specialized doctor who works at a fertility clinic or in the fertility outpatient clinic of a hospital. This doctor guides people who want to become pregnant, but who are unable to do so. The doctor gives tips and advice to increase the chance of a (healthy) pregnancy. A fertility doctor will investigate the reason why you have not (yet) become pregnant. After the examinations have been completed, the doctor will discuss the chances of becoming pregnant naturally and whether the chance of pregnancy can be improved with the help of fertility treatment. The fertility doctor will guide you during this medical treatment process.

The first appointment was 2 weeks later, I found it very exciting. The first appointment with the fertility doctor means little. Mainly questions are asked. My husband was tested for his sperm quality and we would receive the result a week later. What struck me most at that first appointment was that it was only about my weight and BMI. I have always been a bit overweight, but the fact that this was now being emphasized so much made me insecure.

Was it really just because of my weight?
She decided that I needed to lose some weight first and we could continue trying to get pregnant ourselves. Unless my husband's result was not positive, then another plan was made. Actually, we had not made any progress and I went home mostly unsure.

A week later we received the results of the sperm test, which fortunately was completely fine. So far there is no reason not to be able to get pregnant yourself.
Then came six months of mainly ovulation tests and a diet.
The new year 2017 started and still no pregnancy, but we did not give up hope and our appointment with the fertility doctor was getting closer. The diets were not easy, I lost very little weight, even though I really stuck to the diet. At the end of February we were allowed to go back to the doctor, the first thing she said; you have lost too little weight and that is why we cannot switch to one
therapy. This felt like a slap in the face. I tried so hard but it just didn't work!
She gave us another six months and if I was not yet pregnant, an exploratory operation would be planned, but the condition was that I had lost enough weight. With this prospect we continued what we were already doing, ovulation tests, diets and hoping every month that it would happen.

Six months later still no pregnancy and I started to lose hope a bit. Back at the doctor; again I was told that I had not lost enough weight.
This time I bit back and started a discussion about it. I had never been examined for anything else and felt that she blamed it too easily on my weight. The doctor eventually agreed to keyhole surgery on the condition that I continued to lose weight. I agreed to this and the keyhole surgery was scheduled for early 2017.

December 7, 2017 ; the day I had surgery.
I'm nervous, but also looking forward to it. I hope
especially on answers... Does it really have to do with my weight? What is going on?

The operation went well. Endometriosis was found.

Endometriosis is a chronic disease in which tissue resembling the uterine lining outside the uterine cavity
occurs.
You have endometriosis in different degrees, in my case very little endometriosis was found and that is why they were able to burn it away immediately. Conclusion: the endometriosis is now gone and you now have a better chance of a spontaneous pregnancy.
The annoying thing about endometriosis is that it comes back and doctors don't know how quickly it will grow back. A new appointment was made for 3 months from now. Once again we started working with ovulation tests. Becoming pregnant now dominated our lives, it seemed
we were not busy with anything else and it is no longer very romantic between the sheets....

We entered 2018 without a pregnancy. Another appointment with the doctor at the end of February 2018. We had expected to start with IUI and that we would receive an explanation about this, but unfortunately the doctor started talking about my weight again and thought that I should continue losing weight to have a better chance.
to have with IUI. We did not expect this at all and did not feel taken seriously by this doctor at all. We decided to get a second opinion at another hospital.

I started looking for another hospital, this was not that easy, many hospitals have a BMI limit before they help you. We eventually ended up in the St. Antonius hospital in Utrecht. Our first appointment at the beginning of 2018 was a new hospital, new opportunities.

Will it work this time?

To be continued...

love from Stephanie xx